Simplicity’s Early Spring 2019 Pattern Release: WTF is with all the aprons?!

Do I have better things to do than go on a rant about the Early Spring pattern release from Simplicity? Of course I do, but is that gonna stop me? Nope. Because I just looked through the entire collection and counted eight apron patterns. Yes. You read that correctly. Eight. Apron. Patterns. WTF?

Why?!

There are two on page one (yes, 8858 says it’s a “family bath time accessories” pattern, but that is totally an apron on the cover, so it counts) and six on page three – three of which are in a row, so it isn’t like they couldn’t notice just how many apron patterns there were.

WHY!?!?

Aprons are great and all and I get having one or two apron patterns in every release, it annoys me when they are the only vintage patterns, but I still get it (grudgingly). Eight in one release though? I call shenanigans on this nonsense.

I can’t even comment on the rest of the patterns because I’m so fixated on all those damned aprons, I need to cool off before I even look at the rest properly, because this apron mess is making me way too heated. Though I will say that if I had been wowed by the rest of the collection, I might not have gotten so irrationally pissed off about The Apron Issue.

I’m all for boycotting this onslaught of apron patterns. I know no one else is going to be as annoyed by this as I am, but in my mind, this needs to stop. Eight apron patterns is taking things way too far. So, if you’re annoyed like I am but you need an apron pattern, I’d just like to say that it’s one of the easiest patterns to download for free online and there are hundreds of them. A quick search for “free apron patterns” will pull up countless sites and blog posts filled with more apron patterns than you could ever want or need. For example, this post alone has 300 free apron sewing patterns, go wild! Heck, I even posted a PDF of instructions from a vintage sewing book on how to draft your own 1950’s apron pattern last year. It’s free, have at it! But please don’t buy any of Simplicity’s apron patterns, it’ll only encourage them to pull more nonsense like this until one day we get royally trolled with a pattern release that is JUST APRONS. I know, I know, it’ll never happen. But it could, you guys, it could. Clearly they think this is what we want, or else they wouldn’t be giving us so. effing. many. of. them.

Simplicity, I love you, you’re my favourite of the Big Four, I love your retro and cosplay patterns and you’re the only one of the Big Four whose releases I still get excited about, but what on earth are you guys and gals thinking? What is with the apron fetish? Are you trolling us? What is this? You can do better than this.*

Now, I’m gonna go make some dinner, watch a movie, and get back to work on those Little Women dolls. And wonder what it says about me that I just went on a 500+ word  rant about apron sewing patterns, for god’s sake.

 

*Funny how I say this as if someone from Simplicity will ever read this or would even care about my opinion.

8 thoughts on “Simplicity’s Early Spring 2019 Pattern Release: WTF is with all the aprons?!

  1. This is really funny! Because just about the only real vintage apron pattern that I’ve seen was in one of those German magazines from 1930s, 1940s and 1950s, and it was in a 1943 issue – in the middle of the war, along with a pattern for felt house slippers, cardboard shoe insoles and a rain cape for bicycling. But why do we need it in peace time of 2018?

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    • I have no idea! I occasionally wear one when I’m cooking or baking if I’m wearing something nice and don’t want to risk getting flour on it or whatever, but I didn’t even use a pattern to make it, I just cut some shapes out of fabric and winged it, and have no problem admitting that my biggest reason for making it at the time was because I had some cute cupcake covered cotton and thought it would make a cute novelty apron. Most of the time if I’m cooking or baking I don’t even remember to put the apron on though. Lol. I’d love to see the apron pattern from that 1943 magazine, by the way!

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      • I haven’t bought that issue (yet), it’s eBay item 232779598861. Ok, admittedly I did see a few more apron patterns in other war time issues and also one or two just after the war. But never eight in a row! I mean, you’ve seen one – you’ve seen them all. 😉

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      • I agree, once you’ve seen one apron, you’ve pretty much seen them all! Yes, they can make them more frilly or basic depending on taste, but it’s such a basic utilitarian item, you really don’t need a ton of variations – especially not eight in a single pattern release! It’s kind of like if they released eight bag patterns – completely unnecessary. Though that said, I see bags as being more useful than aprons, or at least getting a lot more use than them, but it would still be extreme to have eight bag patterns in one pattern release. I dunno, I think part of the reason it bothers me because it seems kind of lazy and totally unnecessary. All in all a huge disappointment in my eyes, Simplicity was my favourite of the Big 4 and this was the kind of thing I was worried might happen when the company was bought by CSS Industries – boring, repetitive and redundant patterns. 😦 I’ll hold out hope that this will just be a blip and thank my lucky stars that I mostly use vintage patterns anyway!

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  2. In the old days you could write to any company if you didn’t like something and they would actually read it and consider your opinion! Now a days you’re lucky if any company even gets your stupid customer service email form let alone replies to it (even when they screw up your order) LOL! 😛

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  3. I thought this on seeing the pattern release, too! It baffles me to think that they think we need so much choice for such a functional garment. Or is it a subtle encouragement into the kitchen…? One never knows, but there must be some kind of reason for such apron overload!

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    • It baffles me too, I see absolutely no reason for the absolute overload of apron patterns, all I know is, it makes me irrationally frustrated! Glad to see I wasn’t the only one baffled by this!!

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