Mom

Today is the anniversary of my mom’s death. Every year it hits me like an avalanche. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this day, or to spending my birthday without her (I was born on her birthday, August 24th, we were also both born on a Tuesday, coincidentally). This day is always painful, and because I haven’t spent it alone in years, this year feels especially harsh, so I thought I would share a few photos of her and write a little something.

I’ve been thinking the last few years of trying to recreate some of the clothes she’s wearing in the few photos I have of her when she was young, so those are the photos I’ll be sharing those today. She had an amazing sense of style – I wish I had photos of her disco days, but I honestly don’t know if any exist, which is too bad. She was one hell of a cool woman. If I had a time machine or a TARDIS, I’d love to go back in time and be her friend. Or even just get to spend more time with her. I’d give anything to hear her voice again, to see her again, to hug her again.

(My mom is on the left in each of these photos, also pictured in the last colour photo is me as a baby in red overalls circa 1982)

She was a difficult woman, but also fiercely intelligent and fascinating, she was magnetic and it was impossible not to love her even with all of the things that made her difficult. I can relate to her more and more as I get older, and for a woman who I looked to as a sort of mirror to prove my existence growing up, my life has oddly mirrored hers in too many ways – I can only hope that I am learning from both her triumphs and her mistakes. She is a huge part of me, and of all of my sisters – and even my niece, and because of that I know that as long as we are in this world, she will never truly be gone from it.

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I love you, mom.

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17 thoughts on “Mom

  1. I’m so sorry you are going through this Emily. You are such a strong person and I appreciate you sharing something that is so personal and sad and if you ever need to vent or talk about anything, I’m always there for you. Love you Emily!!!!!

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  2. What a lovely entry on your mom! She was very, very pretty and sounds like an interesting woman. I am sorry for your loss and I know how difficult anniversaries of painful events can be. Sending warm thoughts. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aww, thank you – writing this post actually helped more than I even thought it would. And she was definitely a pretty woman, I always wanted to look like her when I was growing up – I’d still love to actually! She kept doing very 70’s sort of makeup throughout her life too, which was really cool. 🙂 Thank you so much for this comment! ❤

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  3. Sending you so much love! This is such a beautiful tribute to her. Anniversaries are so difficult, and it seems as the years go on they are even more so. But you are so lucky to have had her love. As you said she lives on in you and your niece, and that is so incredibly special. She will never EVER be forgotten. SO much love sweets ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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