I can’t believe it’s been 20 years…

It’s been one heck of a couple of week’s over here. I’ve been sick and a lot of crummy life stuff has been rearing it’s ugly head, so I’ve been dropping the ball with a lot of things – not just with the blog, but in my day to day life as well. But I’ve been getting a lot of strength from listening to other women and this afternoon I found this incredible interview that Roseanne did in 1998 with Paula Jones. I wanted to share it because it was really interesting and eye-opening to watch, and it helped to make me feel a bit stronger.

I was a teenager when all of this was going on, so it was a bit difficult to understand at the time, and I never heard Paula Jones’ side of the story until today.

One thing that struck me is how easy it can be for people to pass judgement on women (and men) who are in these situations, without even attempting to put themselves into their shoes. In the moment, it really is just about survival – it’s about getting out of that room, getting out of that situation, no matter what you have to say or do to get out of it. We all do what we can to survive, and there is nothing wrong or shameful about that.

After watching this interview I have a lot of respect for Paula, she was up against so much, exposing such a powerful public figure, but she did it, even though she had so much to lose, and that takes a hell of a lot of courage and a hell of a lot of strength.

It’s amazing how little seems to have changed in the twenty years that have gone by since. Real change needs to happen now – it is long overdue and there have been way too many missed opportunities.

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4 thoughts on “I can’t believe it’s been 20 years…

  1. I am finding it increasingly bizarre on how little has actually changed when stories of my childhood/teens come up – and yet at the time these felt like life changing events that would really alter the paradigm. there used be a lot more ‘feminism’ on tv in ireland in the 80s (in that it was part of general discussion, and there was a specific womens current affairs show) and now in a time of mass media there is far less (curiouser and curiouser)

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    • I find it very bizarre too. And worrying, actually, to be honest. I don’t want what has been happening now (with the me too movement and people coming forward about their experiences, etc) to end in the same way – with nothing really changing, no real progress, it all just being a moment in time that we look back on twenty years later and say, “wow, this actually happened, but nothing really changed.”

      I keep thinking that if any one of us (or all of us!) could get in a room with policy and lawmakers we could present them with a laundry list of things that need to be done to help safeguard women, men and children from sexual violence or at least help remove barriers to getting actual justice, etc. But this isn’t happening. I could make a list of things right now that would probably help at least a little – like abolishing the statute of limitations when it comes to these types of crimes, for example – but I’ve already rambled on quite a bit.

      I guess my point is that I don’t want this to be yet another moment in time that was rife with missed opportunities for change. Firing people from their jobs is all well and good, but we need more than that. That alone isn’t real justice, and at the end of the day, I think that is probably what so many of us really want – justice. It wouldn’t take away what happened, but it would be a hell of a lot better than knowing that someone who abused/assaulted you is allowed to walk free (and possibly keep committing the same crimes against others).

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  2. Great post. Keep resisting, keep speaking truth to power. It’s slow, but it’s all I know to do, I’m old enough to remember watching the rape of Laura by Luke in General Hospital as a tween. After we watched the character suffer for months, the fans pushed for a romance between them so hard that they actually had Laura do an about-face and say she wanted it. If we haven’t figured shit out, we have moved forward some, and I am so proud of #MeToo and #TimesUp!

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    • Aw, thank you so much for everything you said, I actually have a lump in my throat right now! It’s so horrible that they did that on General Hospital, and horrible that fans pushed for it in the first place. I hope we all continue to move forward, and that concrete, positive change begins soon!

      Thank you so much for commenting!

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